pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
