Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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