also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
