He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
