im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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