I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
