hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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