i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
