They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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