oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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