All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
