It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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