you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
