dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
