She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
