I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
