I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
