Well apparently he's into motor boating.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize