I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
