Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize