He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
