HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my being single is dangerous.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
