and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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