Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
