I wanna bring you to show and tell
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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