I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize