I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
