Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
you never un-have a 4some
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
