he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
