I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Panties = found
Randomize
