Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
