3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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