I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
