Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you had me at cake vodka
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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