We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
