So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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