So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Send help, water and tortillas.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
