one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
