i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
