You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
