im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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