Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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