Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Everclear isn't food dammit
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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