I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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