Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
