Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize