Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
