I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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