I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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