fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Randomize
