hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
