She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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