So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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