What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
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