im six kinds of drunk right now
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
