Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
