He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
