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i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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