508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
