What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
