"it" just moved
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
